I could still rmb how hard i cried the other time when my aunt left. And that time, S and T were all along there for me. There isn't any moment i feel that i am alone. Because i know i still got them. But it still hurt alot then.

This time, i guess its 6th sense. Right from the morning, my mom said "Dont regret this" Her first phone call i already knew what's coming. I go into silence because i am afraid it is all falling on me again. The second phone call came and i knew its D-day. It's just a matter of whether i will be too late or not. I was late. Too late. The moment i saw my uncle, i knew i was late. His eyes were red. Even without going into the ward, i knew what had happened. I saw her lying there, peacefully. I broke down. She looked like she is just sleeping like usual but the tears in everyone's eyes tells me something is wrong. I stared to look for signs, signs that she still could be breathing. I stared and i stared, everything still remained still. Alot of thoughts ran through my head..

I thought of S and T..

I was thinking if she wanted to see me before she left. I was thinking if she will feel sad not seeing me. I was thinking, that i haven't told her that i got my scholarship and that she dont need worry because i will study hard and i will grow up to become a very good person, i haven't tell her that i really appreciate her for bringing me up, and being in my life and taking care of me since i was young. Somehow.... I dont know. Maybe i just feel numb. Maybe i just dont feel anything.

But i am fine. yea. guess i am stronger now.

I am fine.

Good luck for GP kay :)